I'm back again -- at least for the moment.
I suppose I'm a woman of clarity who only prefers to jot things down when things are clear, mess-free, and I'm sure of where I'm supposed to be going. I guess it's ironic that this blog would be titled "beauty.n.mess."
Since my last posting, so many things have transpired. I earned my masters degree in teaching, joined a Mennonite church, changed teaching jobs at least five times, and settled into a demanding, but satisfying teaching position at a charter school in an urban area.
If there has been any spiritual progression in my life, I imagine it's been the type that is not outwardly evident to those around me. Having come from a spiritual background that values outward appearances, I'm trying to detox and deprogram from this type of thinking and I'm seeking to walk on.
Having been involved with Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) for so long, my husband and I feel inextricably linked to the fate of that ministry riddled by controversy and scandal. I don't need to hyperlink here and there, just google it.
How does an individual learn to think for themselves after having been subject to "group think" for so long? What is the nature of spiritual abuse?
After going through so many negative experiences surrounding organized religion, how does a person learn to trust again?
How can so many leaders I trusted be accused of such blatant, horrible abuses?
How do I continue to love my close friends still a part of SGM while walking away from those things I reject?
What do I believe about the allegations and what do I reject?
Why do I care?
These are questions, along with many more, that I am now exploring. For me, the process is grueling, confusing, jarring, messy, unsettling, and highly personal.
I don't know how much I'll be able to blog about this detox process. I am an introvert by nature and, after hearing many conflicting voices, prefer to listen for that still, small voice even if I can't readily hear it.
Oh Lord, teach me to listen.
I suppose I'm a woman of clarity who only prefers to jot things down when things are clear, mess-free, and I'm sure of where I'm supposed to be going. I guess it's ironic that this blog would be titled "beauty.n.mess."
Since my last posting, so many things have transpired. I earned my masters degree in teaching, joined a Mennonite church, changed teaching jobs at least five times, and settled into a demanding, but satisfying teaching position at a charter school in an urban area.
If there has been any spiritual progression in my life, I imagine it's been the type that is not outwardly evident to those around me. Having come from a spiritual background that values outward appearances, I'm trying to detox and deprogram from this type of thinking and I'm seeking to walk on.
Having been involved with Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) for so long, my husband and I feel inextricably linked to the fate of that ministry riddled by controversy and scandal. I don't need to hyperlink here and there, just google it.
How does an individual learn to think for themselves after having been subject to "group think" for so long? What is the nature of spiritual abuse?
After going through so many negative experiences surrounding organized religion, how does a person learn to trust again?
How can so many leaders I trusted be accused of such blatant, horrible abuses?
How do I continue to love my close friends still a part of SGM while walking away from those things I reject?
What do I believe about the allegations and what do I reject?
Why do I care?
These are questions, along with many more, that I am now exploring. For me, the process is grueling, confusing, jarring, messy, unsettling, and highly personal.
I don't know how much I'll be able to blog about this detox process. I am an introvert by nature and, after hearing many conflicting voices, prefer to listen for that still, small voice even if I can't readily hear it.
Oh Lord, teach me to listen.
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